Here today, gone Tuscany

There will be a slight interrup-tion in the blog while I am away on holiday. My husband and I are indulging ourselves with a walking tour of the hills of Tuscany via Backroads. You have your choice of the 3 mile hike, the 5 mile or the 8 mile each day...after all the gelato, wine, and pizza I plan on enjoying I would think we'll be choosing the longer option on a daily basis. After Italy, it's off to see the relatives in Provence...life is good. Smile and be happy while I am away...be back the middle of June. Ciao!

The living is easy

Everyone knows about summer from when they were a kid. Family vacations, you could stay out late with your friends, no homework, you went to the pool everyday...summer rocks when you're a kid.
And so I propose summer for everyone. Why not a 6-8 week break for every employee in the USA? Now, we can't take them all at the same time because summer would suck then. Everything would be closed because everyone would be on their summer holidays. So, some people can take their summer in the winter while others opt for a spring or fall summerlike break. I think we would all be much more relaxed upon returning to our places of employment and eager to welcome back a routine as well (and a paycheck).
Maybe it's a dream but maybe not. Your homework is to think of a way to get a few carefree days of summer in your life and enjoy your day to day routine that much more. Class dismissed.

Potluck

Ah, the words that stir the hearts of churchgoers everywhere...it's the annual pot luck. Now, for those of you that are not familiar with such a term it's when all that are invited bring a dish to share with others. You show me yours, I'll show you mine sort of thing.
At my place of employment there was a salad potluck with a buffet of salads to cool off the hungry employees for a lunchtime treat. I actually like this idea because no one can really screw up a salad, can they? Even if you're brainless you can buy a complete salad kit in a bag, bring a bowl...bada bing,bada boom..you got yourself a salad to share.
The day of the salad potluck arrives and I'm setting up the bowls of salads, adding dressings if needed, fluffing and tossing up a lunchtime to wow buffet.
In walks employee #1 and asks if she can fill her plate now because her lunchtime was booked. I said "sure, go ahead and if you need to do anything special to the salad you brought...feel free." Employee #1 says "Oh, I didn't bring a salad" and proceeds to load her plate with the other responsible people's salads!! See you later, freeloader.
Then, employee #2 comes in with a small plastic container about the size for a sandwich . Okay, I thought, it's not going to feed the entire staff but atleast she brought something. She opens it up and its a cut up apple. One frickin apple. She asks me if I think she should put some lemon juice on it because she does have a half of a lemon that she could use. I work with nutjobs by the way. Again, watching from a distance, I see her and her husband (one apple brought for the two of them) loading up for the day. And the joy of all this is when the husband goes and takes a dump in the office public bathroom just to let all of us know that he had a good lunch.
Potlucks use to be a competition of sorts. "You gotta go try Margaret's pie!" "Did you taste Dottie's meatloaf?!" It was always entertaining to see who would bring what and to try something new. Do your part, potluckers of the world...wow them at the buffet.

Save the last dance

I admit it. I'm addicted. I can't stop. I love, love, love Dancing with the Stars. As cheeseball as it sounds I just have to watch this show. I gotta tell you-- the final three contestants are excellent. They dance their feet off, they entertain us...it's like a sporting event (with two out of the final three contestants accomplished athletes...I suppose it really is). Last week I actually voted. I called in for my favorite (and by the way--he made it through!) Next week is the final show and I'll be there with my dancing shoes on.

Knock, knock

Only a man would have thought of this movie title. Is it my delicate upbringing or does anyone else find this term rude, vulgar or demeaning? I just can't imagine a woman announcing to her husband "oh honey, I'm so happy! I'm knocked up!"
I understand from pre-movie reviews that the content of the movie gives more than the title implies but the title alone would force me to choose something else at the ticket counter. Think of it this way... would a man ever be persuaded to buy two tickets for the hilarious summer flick "Castration"?

A feature or a flaw?

I would say I have the gift of above average voice recognition. I will always be the one to ask if you recognize the celebrity voice on a commercial or the star that is narrating a documentary. And the most recent Charlotte's Web with all the animals talking in voices? Easy peasy.
Recently a friend from college who had consumed one too many alcoholic beverages called me up and said "lissen...I bet you won't know who this is" and handed the phone to a blast from the past voice on the other end. I totally knew it was Liz from my sorority college days and I had not even thought of her for years and years. I would consider this gift a feature...my husband who needs total concentration during movies and does not want to be bothered...a flaw.
I also have amazing cell phone etiquette. I know when to talk in public places and when to say "I'll call you back later". I look with disdain at those people who talk about private matters at the grocery store or who do not acknowledge the Starbucks counter girl because they are too busy yammering on about their daughter's soccer game the night before. Can you actually feel comfortable talking to whoever about whatever in a doctor's silent waiting room filled with more people than you can count on your fingers and toes?

But then again, those people who have this ability to spill their guts in public places perhaps consider it their best feature. I consider it a flaw....unless of course I can recognize their voice.

Wish upon a Star

I thought they had everything on YouTube. Unfortunately not. The newest commercial from Cox Communications:

a little boy about two years old, is obsessed with Pauly the Penguin. His mom reads books to him about Pauly; he has the DVD's about Pauly; life is Pauly the Penguin to this little boy. Mom brings the little boy to actually see, live in person, Pauly the Penguin at the local mall. The two wait in line and you see the little boy sheepishly peeking around the other people to take a look at Pauly. It's time.

The little boy awkwardly climbs the steps to shake hands, to hug his hero. And there it is. The little boy turns around to his mom, frightened look in his eyes, lets out a whimper and awkwardly climbs down the steps back to mom without ever seeing the penguin. The last scene shows the little boy sitting joyfully in his stroller being pushed by mom while watching Pauly on a portable DVD player...content.

Sweet, sweet, commercial but it got me thinking...how many of us are like that? Wishing for something, imagining it to be true, and when it's just about to happen...we become frightened and don't go for it. We become complacent with the dream and not the doing. Don't be content with just the wish. Believe you can do it. Go for it. Embrace your penguin.

The nose knows

Did you know that your sense of smell triggers amazing memory recognition? Were you also aware that in most cases your sense of smell will become accustomed to a new odor within 4 seconds (okay, okay...I know there are exceptions...)? It's amazing what some people think are good smells but other people detest. What are your favorites?
Can't you just smell your granny when some other grandma walks by wearing the same perfume? A woman at my work wears "Charlie" cologne...I didn't even know they made that anymore. One day I passed her going up the down staircase and boom! flashback to high school days. Remember a young Shelly Hack strutting her stuff wearing Charlie in the commercials? I didn't either until I smelled "Charlie" on the 60 year old coworker.
I don't like the smell of my work public bathroom after one of my male coworkers exits after lunch. Ewwwwwww...the bathroom also happens to be right off the copy room...so, if you're planning to do any work in there after that...fuggedaboutit.
I do like the smell of the earth after a rain shower...so clean and fresh. And I love the fragrance of alyssum or honeysuckle...so sweet and heavenly. You add a glass of wine to that and it's just about perfect.
I had bought a pair of vintage French leather club chairs off of Ebay and when I brought them home and hauled them inside we detected a strange odor. When I called the previous owner he said that they had just polished them with some leather conditioner from France and that the aroma should dissipate in a few days. Unfortunately, the chairs had to spend the weekend in the garage but have since been allowed back in.
Smells, odors, aromas, fragrances...the nose knows.

Dance Fever

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It's early AM and as I finish tying up my shoelaces I immediately grab my most necessary object for the morning run...my IPod. It's the little "shuffle" which is perfect for me...holds just enough but not too much and easy to carry (kind of like the most perfect purse).
I admit it and I'm proud to say I do enjoy the disco on my walks, runs, and promenading around my neighborhood. I am in another place in time and to be perfectly honest if people wouldn't point and stare I would most likely dance the 2 miles rather than walk.
This recently uploaded Barry White tune is one of my all time favorites. On an early morning run in small town USA, I can become Lucy Liu (Ling) line dancing with the cast of Allie McBeal. I like that she's a little cautious but ready to jump right in...sounds like me in most circumstances. I might have picked Elaine but she doesn't wash her hands as she leaves the stall and that made me a little leery.

Paint your stories

Painting the exterior of your home can be very stressful. You become so accustomed to how your house looks in the present and the past that it's hard to decide on the home's future.
Why is it that the perfect color you've chosen from another house in another neighborhood looks awful on your house in your neighborhood? That "Tuscany Gold" looks like dijon mustard. The "Tobacco Brown" looks like ...well, you know what it looks like and it's not good. That "Summer Yellow" that was so "happy" turns into the color of the local school bus.
Painting your home isn't just for you either. Everyone gets involved and everyone has an opinion about the color. The neighbors, the mailman, even the painters all like to throw their two cents in about their like or dislike of the color you chose. It's like you're naked and people are judging you...and who wants to be the fat girl in that situation? You want to be the girl that has been working out and not eaten the second helpings. No one ever commented about your home before but now it seems as though crowds gather round the dropcloths and paint buckets just to give you their words of wisdom.
Now I know why so many people move into planned neighborhoods where there are paint restrictions on newly built houses. They couldn't decide on a paint color for their old home so they decided to move just to be told what color to paint the new place. Seems like it would be a lot less stressful.

Run for the Roses

How can some people have all the talent while the rest of us just sit by and admire? I know, I know...not all of us can be fabulous painters like my good artist friend, Kimberly Kelly Santini. She truly sees the details and paints it effortlessly. She'll be painting horses this week instead of the "dog a day" paintings to get all of us ready to celebrate the Kentucky Derby on May 5th. Bet on a sure thing and buy one of her paintings...beautiful!

Mayday! Mayday!

I feel like I'm in high school again and the teacher just handed me my homework and said "you started out so well, what happened?"
(and trust me, dear reader, I am proud to say that conversation never happened in my high school years...now, college...another story.)
I just took a look at my blog stats for February, March, and April. I started out like gangbusters with blog after blog in the beginning and it looked like I would take "Blog-Race" by storm (there is a competition with blogs isn't there?? Color me obsessive-competitive).

But now, I can hear the imaginary announcer say: "and it's March, her second month out and it looks like...no,no...yes,yes, she is. She is starting to slow down. Oh boy, this is not good. If she's going to get readers and keep the ones she's got, she needs to keep the keys a clackin"(and that would be my imaginary 1940's announcer voice and jargon...thinking of William H. Macy with a hat)
I am almost embarassed by my lack of April posts. Did I stop for for a drink or two (which is always a nice idea...but not in Blog-Race), watch too many reality shows? What's a girl to do?
Well, I'll tell you. In May, I will do my best to pepper this blog with amusing anecdotes, stories that make you go hmmmmmm, and I'll even throw in a bit or two of historical fiction just for the fun of it. Now, mind you, I'm heading to the hills of Tuscany for a little summer break at the end of our fifth month but I will do my best to keep the computer keyboard humming until then. Keep tuned in boys and girls... we'll have lots to talk about.