going postal?

Here's the deal. I need to go to the post office almost on a daily basis. Orders come in for my etsy shop and I like to get them out ASAP. My husband is kind enough to volunteer to bring packages to our post office early in the morning and it's all good. Every once in a while, I'll bring the packages in and then the problems start to happen...

We live in a small town. Small enough to get to "know" the checkout people at the grocery store and the post office people behind the counter. At out post office there's Shelly (who we love--quick, kind, and suggests cheaper ways to ship when she sees it), Efficient Ed (uses every movement to the post office's advantage...he's quick), a few other employees that I see now and then...but then there's Ron.

Ron is the epitome of why the post office gets a bad name. Slow, lackluster, overweight (although at my last visit he told me he'd lost 25 pounds on the South Beach Diet.I could go on with what he eats but you get the drift..he likes to talk) He's in a local band and is always pushing for husband and I to come watch him perform. again. and again. and again.

I can handle all that. It's chit chat. small talk. no big deal. BUT--

when I mentioned that his band must be getting good to be playing so much he brought up an analogy to sex which kind of threw me. Did he just say that?! Isn't he a US government employee? Why did he say the word "sex" when he's behind the counter?

Whatever. I let it slide. Stamp those packages and get me out of here.

Yesterday I had quite a few packages to go out and brought them in and of course (lucky me) I get Ron to help me. Chit chat. Small talk. And then he says "here, you have to read this."

He hands me a 3x5 index card with what looked like a poem about what a woman is looking for in a man. On the bright side--they were all positive qualities and things that I would agree with. As I'm reading it I'm wondering why he gave this to me to read and "yes, those are going to Germany, Ron". I was distracted and just wanted to get the frickin packages mailed out and at this point I'm going to pretend I'm reading just to keep the process moving.

Then Ron says "now turn the card over. It's what a man is looking for in a woman." I'm thinking "what? whatever? are those packages first class? did you get my delivery confirmation on those?" In other words, I was being polite but this frickin card is distracting me but I'm hoping not you Mr. Post Office Employee from doing your job.

I turn the card over and the card says something to the effect of " A man is looking for a nymphomaniac gymnast with big boobs who cooks, cleans..." by this time I'm like "WTF?" and the rest of the card is a blur. I hand the card back and while he says "that's funny, huh?" I'm just sort of stunned and ask what the total is for all the shipping.

SO--my plan is to call Shelly (who is the supervisor) and let her know how uncomfortable this is making my post office visits and if she could talk to Ron about what real small town small talk is and to not make people feel uncomfortable or weird. It's either that or I have to go to the other post office across town for the rest of my days living here.

What would you do?